As most adults would agree; the changes one experiences through their teenage years are some of the most if not the most durastic changes throughout anyones life in many as one matures from childhood into adulthood. Part of that transformation is making decisions that might end up as big mistakes. As teens yearn for independence ready to grow up and eager to be on their own, the last thing they want is their parents getting involved in the extremely complex social life of a teen. Many of the life lessons that are learned as a teenager just can’t be taught. Some have to be experienced first hand. While parents are just showing care and concern, there is a point where they have to let their teenagers live their own life. Especially when it comes to who they date, teens may make the wrong decisions but that’s what is necessary for lessons to be learned.
While parents approving dates shows care and concern, they aren’t helping in the long run. Teens may not understand the reasons why their parents disapprove of a certain guy/ girl they are interested in dating. There is a proverb ” Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime”( Unknown). Parents need to guide their children through this experience; however, at a certain point they have to let them do it themselves. It’s inevidable that mistakes will be made, but thats part of growing up. In life mistakes will be made without a doubt, and parents approving dates avoids some of these mistakes. However, possibly the most beneficial part of this whole process of screwing up for teenagers is learning how to fix it and recover from mistakes. Parents won’t always be there , and when one “F”‘s up in life (as angry parents call it) they need to know how to get themselves out of that situation such as dating someone they maybe shouldn’t have. Holes will be dug and the journey out of the hole may be tough, but it’s an important climb that will make us stronger later in life.
There are lessons to be learned, but there’s also privacy involved. Legally children are under their parent’s control until the age of 18 ; however, our sense of privacy as humans doesn’t follow the laws. Parents may have the experience of highschool, but everyone’s social life is different and in highschool it is an everchanging web of connections. Unless one is that person in the center of the web, one really can’t understand how their life works. Teens need space sometimes especially when it comes to who to date. Parents have to be confident that up to this point they have raised their child (now teenager) well enough, so that they can make their own decisions. It is almost like a test in school. The teachers tell the students what to do, how to do it, give examples, but on the test teachers have to let the students make a decision on the correct answer and hope they taught them well.
The journey through life can be a long and rough one especially without guidance, but some things just can’t be taught. Certain things need to be experienced first hand to really understand. If my dad were to tell me don’t touch a stove it’s hot, I’d know it’s hot and not to touch it. However, one day when I tell my kids don’t touch the stove it’s hot, the point won’t get across because I won’t understand it. Sometimes the best way to learn is to experience it yourself. Dating is one of those things. Otherwise everyone would marry the first person they dated and stay married for the rest of their lives. One cannot make the correct decision everytime, but by learning from mistakes judgement can be improved for future to make less mistakes. While it is preferable that mistakes are avoided sometimes knowing the reason behind why one’s parents may provide certain advice makes the advice more accepted with a verified reason behind it.
Teens and parents will forever debate about the balance between parents showing care and overprotectiveness. Some lessons can be taught, but others need to just be learned first hand . Many times the recovery from those mistakes turns out to be beneficial in the long run. Parents are sometimes too worried about their kids messing up that it becomes controlling over their teenager’s life. Dating is one of the areas where many teenagers keep it as far away from their parents as possible in fear of dissapproval. If judgment is what’s lacking in a teen, then maybe the parents messed up and didn’t teach their kids the right skills. Therefore, the parents don’t have confidence in their own parenting skills. Parents shouldn’t have to approve who their kids date if they trust themselves to raise their kids right. If the parents approve of their teens dating choice, well then that’s great. However, if they don’t approve, then so be it. It is not their life to live. Teens are young adults and should be able to make decisions like them.